27 Best Man Speech Opening Lines That Hook the Room

The first thirty seconds of a best man speech do most of the heavy lifting.

Land them well, and the room relaxes. They lean in. They've decided you're alright, and now they're rooting for you. Land them badly, and you spend the next six minutes climbing out of a hole.

So here are twenty-seven openers that have actually worked. Pick one, adapt it, make it sound like you.

Want a draft that already has an opener picked for you? The free speech generator writes the first thirty seconds based on your tone preferences. Then you swap in your own punchline if you've got a better one.

The "self-deprecating intro" openers

These work because they instantly tell the room you're not taking yourself too seriously.

1. "For those who don't know me, I'm [Name]. For those who do — I'm sorry."
2. "I'm [Name], and I'd like to start by congratulating myself on the fact that I'm still standing."
3. "I'm [Name]. I've been told to keep this short, clean, and finished before the carvery. Let's see how that goes."
4. "Good evening. I'm [Name], and I'd like to thank [Groom] for the honour of being best man — and for setting the bar so low that I will almost certainly clear it."
5. "Hello. I'm [Name]. I prepared a really good speech, and then [Bride]'s mum took me aside and very politely asked if I could rewrite it. So here's draft seven."

The "misdirection" openers

Set up an expectation, then break it. Comedy 101.

1. "I'd like to start by saying what an honour it is to give the second-best speech of the day."
2. "Before I begin, I just want to thank everyone for coming. Especially those of you who flew in. And especially those of you who were paid to come — you know who you are."
3. "I had a completely different speech prepared. Then I lost it on the train. So this is my second draft, written on a napkin, in pen, by candlelight."
4. "I want to start with a quick poll. Hands up everyone who thought, ten years ago, that [Groom] would be the first of us to get married. [pause] Yeah. Me neither."
5. "I had several jokes ready about marriage. But [Groom]'s mum is in the front row, so we'll go with plan B, which is mostly about cheese."

The "instant in" openers (skip the throat-clearing)

Some of the best openers don't introduce you at all — they jump straight into a story.

1. "In 2014, [Groom] tried to grow a beard. We don't talk about it. But that's roughly when I knew he'd one day need a wife to dress him."
2. "[Groom] once ate an entire trifle at my mum's house and tried to blame the dog. We don't have a dog. So that's the man we're celebrating tonight."
3. "When I was eighteen, [Groom] told me confidently that you can't get drunk on cider. I'd like to apologise to my parents one more time for that evening."
4. "There's a photograph of [Groom] from 2009 wearing a fedora. Unironically. I have the photo. We'll get to it."

The "warm and welcoming" openers (for serious crowds)

If the room skews older, more formal, or it's a small intimate wedding — go warm.

1. "Good evening, everyone. It's a real privilege to stand here today as [Groom]'s best man, and to share a few words about the man we're all very lucky to know."
2. "Before I begin, I just want to say — [Bride], you look stunning. [Groom], you've scrubbed up surprisingly well too."
3. "Welcome, everyone. For those who don't know me, I'm [Name], and I've had the pleasure of being [Groom]'s best mate for [X] years. Today is one of the great days of my life — and I haven't even had to pay for anything."
4. "Good evening. I'm [Name], and I'd like to thank [Groom] and [Bride] for putting on what is genuinely the best wedding I've ever been to. Although it's only 7pm, so let's see what happens."

The "honest nerves" openers (when you're terrified)

Confessing the nerves disarms the room and gets you on their side immediately.

1. "Hi. I'm absolutely terrified. There — that's the worst bit out of the way."
2. "Right. I've been dreading this for six months, and now we're here, and it's actually fine. So let's enjoy the next four minutes together."
3. "I'm [Name], and I should warn everyone — I sweat when I'm happy. So please ignore the next four minutes of visible damp patches."
4. "I'd like to start by acknowledging that I am holding this paper because if I let go of it, my hands will shake so hard I'll knock over the centrepiece."

These get a guaranteed laugh because they're honest. Audiences love a vulnerable opener.

The "playful with the groom" openers

Light, affectionate, lands fast.

1. "I've known [Groom] for [X] years. We've been through a lot together. Most of it was his fault."
2. "[Groom] and I met when we were eleven. I'd like to formally apologise to [Bride] for everything she has inherited."
3. "I want to start by telling [Bride] one thing. Whatever he's told you about me — it's true."

The "skip ahead to the toast" gimmick (advanced move)

Bold, but lands beautifully if delivered well.

1. "Right — I'd like to begin by raising a glass to the bride and groom. [pause, half raise] No, just kidding, I've got six minutes of material to get through first. But it was nice to see your hopes raised for a moment."
2. "Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses. [pause] Sorry, I rehearsed the wrong bit. Give me a second."

Three openers that always die

For your safety, please do not use any of these.

• "I Googled best man speech jokes…" — instantly tells the room you couldn't be bothered.
• "Webster's dictionary defines marriage as…" — the most-used wedding cliché on Earth. Stop.
• "I'd like to thank the bridesmaids, the groomsmen, the catering staff, the venue…" — this is the MC's job. You're skipping straight to the boring bit.

How to choose your opener

Match your opener to your personality, not to what you wish you were.

If you're naturally dry, go for the misdirection openers (6–10).

If you're naturally warm, go for the welcoming ones (15–18).

If you're naturally chaotic — well, the honest-nerves ones are basically written for you (19–22).

How to deliver it

Three rules:

1. Pause after the opener. Let the laugh land. Don't rush.
2. Hold the paper, but look up for the punchline. Always.
3. Smile before the joke, not after.

Then you're off. Roll into your "how I know the groom" section, and the speech is moving.

If you want a personalised opener written around your mate's actual name and the room you're walking into, the generator does that for free in about a minute.